SAVE SOMETHING OTHER THAN MONEY

By

William A. Gralnick

Remember soda in bottles? Milk in bottles? The thick brown bags in which you carried home your groceries? Vacuum packed coffee tins and that wonderful sound and smell they released when you broke the vacuum? Almost everything in your refrigerator then was in glass. In the pantry– tin cans. Today almost everything in the ‘frig is in plastic. And on the shelves too. That’s very bad news.

good stuff in good packaging

Worse news is that almost everything you use in life has plastic in it, even stuff you eat. To me, one of the most insidious and invidious products are the microscopic balls found in makeup. They are found in the multiple trillions in our waterways and oceans, are swallowed by all manner of life, which they kill or which are eaten by other creatures who then die.

I’m going to transition now to some things that I hope have shock value. They come from the latest issue of Consumer Reports. A word about Consumer Reports. There are several non-profit consumer watch dog publications. Mine has always been CR, and for good reason. They’ve never steered me wrong and when I chose not to listen to them, I paid the price. Here’s one example.

For reasons beyond me now, I had a hankerin’ for a Corvair. The was the rear-engined Chevy semi-sports car. For a time, it was the rage. I was early into my work life, and I couldn’t afford a new one. I checked CR’s wonderful ratings on used cars for the year I wanted. For that year, and all the others listed, it said this: “DO NOT BUY THIS CAR—CAVEAT EMPTOR!” And it told me why. The engine leaks oil. The oil drips on the motor. The motor then creates a thick acrid smoke that can be sucked into the car by the heating system, which I believe, was like the VW’s, using the engine heat to heat the car.

How Sweet It Was–Until You Owned it

But I fell in love with one at the dealership. It was blue with a red leather interior. The dealer pooh-poohed the admonitions from CR, reminding me the car was still under warranty. That was reassuring but dopey me didn’t realize that he hadn’t answered the question about the problem, only that it was fixable at no cost. I drove it off the lot.

A few weeks later I had a date with a woman who was shall we say in a class status–or two– above mine, and two years older. Women mature faster than men, so the two years meant she was a woman and I just a budding man. I ushered her into my prize, being careful not to catch her fur coat in the door. Maybe a mile down the road she opined, “I smell something burning. Do you?” Within minutes I couldn’t see out the windshield and she was hollering about this oily smudge in the car choking her mink, which of course was already dead. So, I hope that has you saying, “Point taken.” Now to plastics.

They are, like rock and roll, here to stay, most of them for an inexorably long time. So where does that plastic you so diligently put in your recycling bin go? In 2018 our country (that’s us alone), generated more than 35 million ton of plastic waste. Less than 10% got recycled. One can only assume the next report will be worse. The actual figure was 8.7%. 15.8% was incinerated. The good news? It is used for energy. The bad news? It creates green house gasses in doing so. The rest of it, over 75% goes into landfills where either here or overseas, it wreaks havoc. With China recently having an anti-US hissy-fit, China, the largest taker of our trash, has told us to shove it. Now let’s take a look at what’s in the landfills and how long it’ll be there.

Every year the world tosses five billion (that with a “B”) plastic bags. Most hang around for 500 years.

“I’ll take that to go, please?” More and more of us say that more and more often. The plastic food containers then go into the trash, into recycling, and then the landfills. The US of A produces 37% of all that worldwide waste.

bad stuff in a bad place

Thirsty much? I guess so. Between 21 and 34 billion plastic bottles end up in the ocean—every single year. There they are ingested and kill wonderous species or they clog up waterways and otherwise defile the environment. Like to shave on the go with those plastic razors? So do a lot of folks, men and women. In 2020 we tossed 158,100,00 of ‘em, just us.

Back to the ‘frig. Now you have food left over. Gotta wrap it in something, so it doesn’t spoil, right? Every six months 196 million American go through at least one roll of Saran Wrap or it’s like. Follow the bouncing ball. Trash, recycling, landfill, environment. For those animals who get wrapped in it or who swallow it, it’s a terrible way to die. What to do? What to do? Well, I’m here to tell ya.

a good place to start

The first thing to know is that helping the planet is a pain in the neck. It’s a commitment one takes for the future of one’s children and grandchildren. That said…

1. Lose the plastic grocery bags. If you can’t do that pester your grocery to put up a recycling bin for them (Publix and Walmart have such a one).

2. Ask for a paper bag option or bring your own cloth carry bags

3. Whatever liquid you can buy in a bottle, can, or paper, grab it.

4. Carry your own water bottle and re-use it, preferably one that is metal

5. Next car should be hybrid or electric

6. Use less toilet paper (oh yes you can) and fewer paper towels or…

7. Dump paper towels and use rags and real, once upon-a-time live, sponges for the dishes and for you in the shower or bath

8. On your trip take your real razor; do not use plastic disposable ones.

9. You a “to-go” person? Bring your own Tupperware type product

10. In the market if something needs to be wrapped, ask for paper or aluminum foil

As Milton Berle used to say about jokes, “I gotta million of ‘em folks.” And so it is with these suggestions, but the best thing is to make ecology a family discussion. Let each member pick a subject area, sum up with a list of suggestions for the family, then draw up a family commitment plan. Once done, you can feel proud of yourself and that’s the kind of “product” we want because it won’t decompose—at least from my perspective.

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Back on his high horse, Bill is literally trying to save the world. However he is still saving enough time to remind you about part two of his humorous three part memoir. George Washington Never Slept Here is available on Amazon.com for kindle or in paperpack. Like you didn’t have to grow up in Brooklyn to love part one, “The War of the Itchy Balls and Other Tales From Brooklyn,” you didn’t have to go to The George Washington University to have your ribs tickled by, “George Washington Never Slept Here.” Try it. You’ll like it!