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Writer's pictureaimgralnick

The Merry Minuet

by

William A. Gralnick

Written in 1955

While several people covered it, it was made famous by a piano tinkler who stopped his PH.d after completing everything but the dissertation and went to teach math at MIT. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park and The Remains of Tom Lehrer were popular albums of his.

They are still rioting in Africa in one form or another: Somalia, Sudan, Ethiopia. Let’s add Haiti, Gaza, and Israel. The Geneva Conference on Humanitarian Law lists these: Africa comes second in the number of armed conflicts per region with more than 35 non-international armed conflicts (NIACs) taking place in Burkina Faso, Cameroon, the Central African Republic (CAR), the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Ethiopia, Mali, Mozambique, Nigeria, Senegal, Somalia, South Sudan and Sudan. And to whom do we give first prize? A combination of the Middle East and North Africa where there are 45 armed conflicts that are on-going. Pretty damned depressing. It is also frustrating if one wants to do something.

Money is always the first answer. Seek out humanitarian aid groups. Go beyond what they say they do. Look them up on Charity Navigator and find out what score they get for the way they use their donations.

Of course, unless you are in that heavenly 1%, you will find there are an overwhelming number of organizations asking and nowhere enough money in your banking accounts to cover them in any meaningful way. Pick an amount you can afford to give, pick a number of agencies amongst which the money will be split. Then decide which speak to you most and least and split the money accordingly. For instance, my standard gift is $35 but two or three get $50 or $100. My limit is $1,000 a year. I am big on climate change, defending domestic animals, and defending Africa’s dwindling numbers of great herds.

I just got an email saying a several pronged effort has succeeded in rescuing the White Rhino from extinction. Now that’s something.

My go to tool, however, is the petition. Here i am looking at political issues as well as a broad range of others. I read them. I don’t sign unless I think it is legitimate and is zeroing in on something that needs doing and might actually be done. My guess is that I sign between five and ten petitions every single day. Again, every so often an email brings good news: a wilderness area has been saved, an plan for oil exploration has been stopped, the almost extinct national bird of ours has rebounded fabulously, and the almost prehistoric California Condor has gone from a few birds to close to 100. I’ll take it and all for the stroke of the keyboard.

Still and all, things are pretty grim when entire schools are kidnapped, when children at age six are kidnapped and trained to be soldiers. Better said would be cannon fodder. While making oneself feel a bit better by doing the above, isn’t there something we can use to help our mental health? The answer is yes, humor is the remedy.

Ever notice how good you feel after a good laugh? It isn’t your imagination. Let’s hear it from WebMD.

“Having a good sense of humor has numerous long-term and short-term mental health benefits.

Short-term mental health benefits of humor. Laughing automatically triggers positive physical and mental changes that help to relax your mind. The short-term benefits of laughter include:

  1. Organ stimulation: A good laugh improves your intake of oxygen-rich air. This, in turn, stimulates organs such as the heart, lungs, and muscles. Your brain also releases endorphins — hormones that cause a feeling of pleasure and a relaxed mind.

  2. Stress relief: Laughing activates your body’s stress response mechanism. This process changes your heart rate leaving you in high spirits.

  3. Relief from tension: Laughter also stimulates rapid blood circulation. When this happens, you may experience a calming sensation that takes away tension and stress.”

In addition to the short-term benefits, humor has several scientifically proven long-term effects. Some of them, again from WebMD include:

  1. A boost to the immune system: Positive thoughts lead to the release of neuropeptides. These are brain chemicals known to fight anxiety, stress, and other related mental conditions. Having negative thoughts may result in chemical reactions in the body that cause elevated stress levels, which in turn works against your immunity.

  2. Pain relief: A good laugh causes your body to release natural painkillers, thereby relieving you of physical pain.

  3. Positivity: Having a good sense of humor can help you interact and connect with other people. Positive thoughts and good relationships may assist you to cope by taking your mind off difficult situations.

  4. Improving mood: Laughter can significantly lift your spirits by reducing anxiety and depression, making you happier.

  5. That may be TMI, but it is a suggestion that is within almost everyone’s reach.”

To prove it, let’s close with a joke.

THREE FRIENDS DIE AT ALMOST THE SAME MOMENT. THEIR SOULS FLY UP TO HEAVEN WHERE THEY MEET THE REGISTRAR WHO SAYS, “WELCOME GENTLEMEN. I HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR EACH OF YOU BEFORE YOU ENTER.

GENTLEMAN ONE: WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE PEOPLE SAY AS THEY GAZED INTO YOUR CASKET? HE PAUSES AND ANSWERS…THAT I WAS A BRILLIANT SURGEON. I CARED DEEPLY FOR MY PATIENTS, I CREATED MEDICAL INVENTIONS THAT SAVED COUNTLESS LIVES. I LOVE MY WIFE AND CHILDREN AND WAS A GOOD FAMILY.

THE REGISTRATAR ASKS THE SECOND MAN TO STEP UP. SAME QUESTION. THE LAWYER (YOU CAN SEE THIS IS A JEWISH JOKE…) REFLECTS AND SAYS, “I WAS A SHARP LEGAL MIND, I REVERED THE LAW, AND I STUDIED ALL THE GROUP JURIDICAL OPINIONS. I TREATED MY CLIENTS LIKE FRIENDS AND FAMILY—SOME OF WHICH THEY WERE. I LOVED MY WIFE AND CHILDREN AND WAS AN EXEMPLARY FAMILY MAN.

THE THIRD MAN IS CALLED FORWARD, A DENTIST. LONG AND HARD HE RUMINATES AND Finally BLURTS OUTS, I WOULD HAVE THEM SAY AS THEY GAZE INTO MY CASKET:

HE’S ALIVE!! HE’S ALIVE!!“”

That’s all I got for you today, folks. Have a smile on me.

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NEWS! Go to williamgralnickauthor.com. It’s Bill’s evolving website where you’ll learn about him, follow his doings, AND find the finale of his memoir series, “That’s Why They Call It Work.” As Bill says, “Read! It’s good for both of us.”

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